Visual Creatures

A colleague of mine is a total babe. Hands down, no bones about it, a full on B-A-B-E. I give her total props for it ~ she works out, takes great care of herself, and has had surgery in a few areas to enhance her “assets”. She also happens to be a really sweet person, which is why I refer to her with the nice “b” word, and not the other one . . . haha.

I, on the other hand, am not a babe. My husband would say that I am, but that’s because he is either going blind, or because he has to since he married me. Jokes aside ~ he has fallen in love with the total package ~ my wit and brains ~ which God gave me to compensate for my lack of “babeness”, I suppose. Don’t get me wrong, I do think I’m “cute”. On a good day, I might even say I’m not half bad. I just don’t get the same attention from the male species that my co-worker friend gets. Men are visual creatures ~ they don’t always think with the brain that’s in their, um . . . cabeza.

Case in point: Recently, I was leaving my office to go to lunch, when I spotted “the babe” approaching the door with cell phone to ear and lunch from a carryout place in hand. To be nice, I hurried to open the door for her, since her hands were clearly full. At the same time, a “gentleman” came from behind me, so I stepped aside, letting him walk through. This man never took his eyes off of “Miss Babelicious” the entire time. His gooney looking smile and once-over glance of her made it obvious that he was enjoying the eye candy. He never looked my way . . . at all. I might as well have been invisible. Then, he said “Thank you” . . . to her!!! She didn’t do ANYTHING! I was the one who held the damn door open.

My colleague looked at me with complete confusion in her eyes. She thanked me for holding the door. Just then, my clever wit kicked in and I said to her, loudly “Make sure you tell him ‘you’re welcome’ ”. I gestured in the direction of the oogler. He looked back at both of us, face completely red.

I have to say, it felt pretty good to watch Mr. Bug Eyes walk away with his tail between his legs :)