Visual Creatures

A colleague of mine is a total babe. Hands down, no bones about it, a full on B-A-B-E. I give her total props for it ~ she works out, takes great care of herself, and has had surgery in a few areas to enhance her “assets”. She also happens to be a really sweet person, which is why I refer to her with the nice “b” word, and not the other one . . . haha.

I, on the other hand, am not a babe. My husband would say that I am, but that’s because he is either going blind, or because he has to since he married me. Jokes aside ~ he has fallen in love with the total package ~ my wit and brains ~ which God gave me to compensate for my lack of “babeness”, I suppose. Don’t get me wrong, I do think I’m “cute”. On a good day, I might even say I’m not half bad. I just don’t get the same attention from the male species that my co-worker friend gets. Men are visual creatures ~ they don’t always think with the brain that’s in their, um . . . cabeza.

Case in point: Recently, I was leaving my office to go to lunch, when I spotted “the babe” approaching the door with cell phone to ear and lunch from a carryout place in hand. To be nice, I hurried to open the door for her, since her hands were clearly full. At the same time, a “gentleman” came from behind me, so I stepped aside, letting him walk through. This man never took his eyes off of “Miss Babelicious” the entire time. His gooney looking smile and once-over glance of her made it obvious that he was enjoying the eye candy. He never looked my way . . . at all. I might as well have been invisible. Then, he said “Thank you” . . . to her!!! She didn’t do ANYTHING! I was the one who held the damn door open.

My colleague looked at me with complete confusion in her eyes. She thanked me for holding the door. Just then, my clever wit kicked in and I said to her, loudly “Make sure you tell him ‘you’re welcome’ ”. I gestured in the direction of the oogler. He looked back at both of us, face completely red.

I have to say, it felt pretty good to watch Mr. Bug Eyes walk away with his tail between his legs :)

Something to Make You Laugh

If you’ve even taken a road trip, then you know that half the fun is seeing different sights as you drive along the highway. As much as the towns, cities and suburbs appear to be the same from one place to the next, there is always something new to be discovered. I thought I’d share this photo of a huge statue of Jesus that faces Interstate 75, just north of Cincinnati, OH. I’ll never forget the first time I saw it. The reaction I had is best summarized in this song by comedian Heywood Banks. Watch the video ~ I promise it will make you laugh. Or maybe not . . . if your sense of humor isn’t a bit warped, like mine is ;) That’s it ~ I’ve got nothing else to blog about today. Just thought we could all use a laugh!!

Put Your Eyes Back in Your Head!

A funny thing happened to me while driving to work this morning. I was stopped at a light, when an attractive female pushing a baby in a stroller crossed in front of me. I recall thinking she looked pretty good in her tight workout pants for someone who presumably just had a baby . . . bitch (just kidding!). It was obvious that she works hard at keeping her trim figure, so I can’t begrudge her that. Just as she was passing, I noticed a guy in a Saab who was driving by her. As he crossed the intersection, his neck turned and craned out to get a better look at this eye candy. Just then, he failed to see the stopped car in front of him, and he crashed into to it! While all of this unfolded, I sat watching helplessly in my car, sipping my coffee. At that point, I couldn’t help but laugh hysterically! Nobody got hurt, thank goodness, but I felt sorry for the person whose bumper had just been smashed in by this gawker. I wonder how this sap is going to explain his newly damaged Saab to his wife/girlfriend/significant other? It was quite a scenario. The best part of all is that the pretty lady kept right on walking, oblivious to the fact that she had inadvertently caused the whole debacle. Men ~ what can we say about them?! I guess that’s what they get for being visual creatures :)